Late.....AGAIN

You all know me well enough to know that I am always notoriously LATE. This has gone way back to my elementary school days. One time I begged my mom to let me be absent from school because I started an art project too late - making a catholic calendar with mosaic, stained glass, painted pictures of mary/saints/Jesus. It had to be perfect. My perfectionism didn't let me turn in any of my art projects because they weren't good enough. So in 5th grade I got an F in art for not turning anything in, even though I did all of them! And when my big Samoan classmate saw my report card, he shouted it out to everyone that I FAILED in art! Traumatized fo life mang.

Anyways! You get the point. I have a problem with being on time. YES you may have reading in my recent posts that I've been able to get up early with God's grace. The only times I have is when I've blogged about it, so that's like 2 times! On the real though, I have a hard time waking up early. In high school I had to take guarana pills to keep me awake at school. So this morning David called me at almost 10 to see if I wanted donuts, and I was still at home even though my work starts at 10. He called me out on my habit of being late for work. And he was right in saying that I'm actually okay with that. So naturally, I got all kinds of defensive and pointed back at him that HE was late for work sometimes too. And that I don't appreciate him calling me out and ruining my morning. It's just that one thing about me I KNOW I'm weak in and I hate that part about myself. After the Lord knocked some sense into me and showed me my wrong (double call-out), I apologized. Still feeling a little indignant, I was going to add something like, "I just don't like it when people call me out on my character, like 'you're ALWAYS late..that's who you are'". But it's not their problem! It's my own. If I let Christ be my life, even in this area, I'd never be late. Obviously if people say that, they still see my old-self Melissa in me.

Well since it's one of those things I'm known for, God taking over this weakness would really be a testimony to Him. More than just self-improvement, I need to let the main reason for Him taking over is that His glory, his character, his presence in me is displayed. God is never late. His timing is ALWAYS perfect. I came to a desperation point about this same thing over a year ago, and it makes me upset that this issue is still the same. So as I was driving to work, reflecting on this and talking with Him, God made a good point:

"If I am really your King, would you honor the appointments we have set together? No matter how early it is, how tired you are, how much sleep you've had, would you show up on time for our appointment?"

Lately, we've been going through knowing Christ as having the SUPREMACY (Colossians 1:15-18). We've been going over this at our retreat, Will talked about Christ being our Lord this past Sunday, and now we're going through Hebrews about Christ being SUPERIOR above all. He is our supreme, superior King, the highest of highest, with the name above all other names, the one who established all thrones and powers and rulers and authorities - who became human to suffer death for us. By His grace, he became the lowest of lows, a cursed and punished human criminal to go through the death sentence that was planned for us. He gave us HIS holiness, HIS glory, HIS righteousness to us for FREE! So naturally He has every right to take authority of our lives, do whatever He wants with us, command us, make decisions for us, interrupt our plans, give and take away, change us, use us, reign over all in our lives, and reign in us as our King. All because He is WORTHY....

But yet, even as I set my alarms for 7:45 am classes on Saturdays, 8:30 worship rehearsals, 1:1 appointments with friends, meetings, etc...when it comes to my King, I treat Him casually like He can wait. I think, "God's always here...I can meet with Him when it's convenient for me." I never see it like He's actually waiting for me first thing in the mornings. But Christ is my KING. He is the King I report to, and when I come to Him to spend quality time with Him, I'm coming before His throne of grace. I am subject to Him and I owe Him my life. How could I be late or a no-show to my morning appointments with my King because I'm too tired and think, "That's okay. He can wait until later. He'll still be here right? God's always with me." I wouldn't be late to an appointment that the President sets for me, or even the mayor, or even my boss. Since Christ is superior to all as being the one through whom all rulers, authorities, powers, and thrones were established in heaven and on earth, how can I treat Him as the least of these?

I'm thankful that the Lord put this in perspective for me, but it will take surrender more than discipline. I pray that as I surrender my right to myself and my will to take my time, sleep a little longer, relax for a bit, and even be perfect, Christ can take over and his character will show more and more. Jesus is never late. I pray that our quality time would be all about focusing on Him and letting go of all distractions, giving Him my undivided attention.

I realize that as I write this, I am being held accountable. So hopefully I can willingly yield this weakness to Christ because He is more than sufficient. "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest in me." -2 Cor 12:9.

In all this, I just want to treat Christ as my King, without letting my weaknesses be an excuse. Now that David and I have started a new family, I try to guard our family time by having at least one date night a week. We can get so busy with our ministries, and I'm still trying to not bring youth ministry stuff home with me. Our date night is sacred, and our schedules must work around that. How much more should my quality time with my King be even MORE sacred, guarded, and prioritized?

I encourage you all to treat your quality time with our Lord as "appointments with our King". We need to have a deep reverence and respect for our time with Him. But how awesome is it that Christ has made it possible for us to still "approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and grace to help us in our time of need" (Hebrews 4:16)? As HOLY and SUPREME as He is, He opened the life-giving way to be personal and intimate with Him. What an awesome King we have!